~Floats on over

[Beautiful~Mistake]

Qantas Airline Humor

Never let it be said that Australian ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by
QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.


( P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and
S stands for the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.)



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.

S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.



P Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for!



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing. -- (note: this was for a piston-engine airplane; the pilot meant "the engine was not running smoothly" )

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed radar with words.


P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

[SummerStorm]

LMAO.....thats too funny girl